Having time out to reflect on my diagnosis and treatment has also given me the opportunity to focus on how I tackle the sensitive topic of cancer with my family and friends. I recognise that being a social worker has helped me share my experiences. I know how to select the right words for different people of differing ages, understanding and abilities. I have become my own expert in seeking out information, breaking it down into jargon free language to be able to share this with my 83-year-old mother, my very young grandchildren and everyone in between.

I am now more than ever, acutely aware of the real need to get over the important message of knowing your own body and carefully balancing that knowledge against the reality of not wanting to create unnecessary anxiety that the subject of the ‘Big C’ can evoke. It is absolutely okay to feel frightened and scared. I think the most important message is that a cancer diagnosis does not always mean it is a death sentence.

No one wants to hold a membership for this club; your subscription is lifelong and there is no ability to ‘opt out’. The important message I have learnt is that whilst a diagnosis is bloody scary and can take you to some very dark places, education and awareness can lead to successful treatment and a life after cancer. That surely is something to celebrate.

Let’s be honest, in our culture we are a prudish bunch! Since my diagnosis my circle of friends have become more open about their own self-examination. I had three girlfriends message me to say that due to my social media post (I was 6 months into treatment) that they had found lumps in their breasts and been for screening. That showed me even in my circle of friends the importance of talking about body awareness.

I have attended training with Humber and North Yorkshire Cancer Alliance to become a ‘Cancer Champion’. It’s accessible and free training about all types of cancers and treatments, pathways for referrals and has great resources to help spread the message. Anyone can sign up to the sessions. As a Cancer Champion this training reinforced my message about the significance of raising awareness and engaging in sometimes difficult conversations that could help to reduce the risk of cancer. If by talking about it encourages someone to check out ‘that lump’ or ‘that pain’ it may result in an early diagnosis of cancer when treatment options could be less invasive and more successful. You can order or view lots of educational resources from here Coppafeel.

Breast cancer not only affects women and so the importance of encouraging your brother, husband, friend, partner, cousin, uncle to check is essential. Take a look at this video for guidance on how to check and what to look out for; its useful as it also shows you how to if you’re male. Boob Checking.

Did you know that you can also sign up for a text messaging service to remind you to check. It’s not only for young people and is arranged via CoppaFeel. They also have shower stickers, useful for you or your children/teenagers (if they live away) . The video ‘Hand, Meet, Boob’ is clear, simple and reminds us that checking boobies also includes the armpits and collarbone areas. These videos are for all genders, so go on, coppafeel.

The purpose of this page has shifted as I have written it, it was a personal memoir, a picture book of a chapter in my life, but also an opportunity to share with my family, friends and others that are faced with a cancer diagnosis. I am not in any way a medical professional, but I can speak from my own human experiences. Cancer turns your life and those closest to you upside down in a matter of moments. You will never be the same person again but a newer version (somewhat battered and bruised) of the old self. What I have learnt is that the health and wellbeing agenda is growing (probably catapulted by the speed in which the world changed due to Covid) and that employers are having to turn their minds to not only the productiveness of their employees, but the requirement to look after them. It is not acceptable any more to be unkind.

Some employers are beginning to show proper interest in supporting their employees. Sadly, this isn’t always the case and my own experiences showed me that employers do not always fully appreciate nor understand the life affecting changes that a cancer diagnosis brings. Those affected by cancer should not be treated to the same formulaic responses as someone who has a minor health ailment.

A key issue for me is educating employers about the significant role they play when a person has a cancer diagnosis. When my B@*%ard Lodger came to stay the last thing on my mind was work, but it was also a reality that without it, financial hardship was a likelihood, even more so in this current political climate.

It is important first and foremost to be kind, and thoughtful. Of course there will always be a process to follow but training with specialists like Maggies who run courses for managers and specifically human resources (HR) will provide employers with education about how to sensitively support a person with a cancer diagnosis.

There is lots of information on their site and helpful guidance for you as an employer. Useful information relating to potential finances and practical support, reasonable adjustments, the emotional and psychological impact of a diagnosis. I did not know about Maggie’s or their services until 2 years out of active treatment. I know that whilst I was going through my own HR process that they were insensitive, thoughtless and lacked any care or empathy. I would ask that you don’t arrange meetings around treatment appointments, make sure you provide the minutes of discussions in reasonable time (after all they are your minutes not HR or managers). Decide on how the person wants to be contacted outside of work and stick to it! It’s no use sending invites to a work email or telephone if you’re not using them. Provide plenty of notice for meetings (I think on reflection that a discussion with a manager before the meeting with an agreed note is helpful). This can be shared formally as an update, and you can offer any update or comment if you chose to. I know being asked to repeat my most personal and emotional medical/treatment information was really difficult.

As an employer think about your colleagues during ‘breast cancer awareness month’. Whilst awareness is key, I know some ladies find the pink month of October a trigger rather than a celebration of living, education or remembrance. Think about the language you use; just because someone has finished treatment does not mean they are ‘better’. Cancer leaves many life affecting scars (both seen and invisible) and for some day-to-day life is a constant challenge.